I cringed as she opened the gate of my old mini-van. I turned to see the look on her face. Would the “interesting” aroma wafting from the van or the view of clutter be the first to assault her senses? It took years for me to build up a persona with this amazingly sweet, organized and well put together client and in one fell swoop that vision of me was blown to smithereens.
PSSST…YOUR SLOBBINESS IS SHOWING
My client, who’s idea of a mess in her home is a few clothing items strewn about as she’s getting ready for a garage sale, gave me a hammock one day. I had always wanted one and finally manifested one, but that’s a post for another day. It was a big and heavy hammock and she helped me bring it to my van. When she went into her house, I tried to quickly put this behemoth of a gift into the vehicle and close the doors thus hiding my mess. No such luck. There we were. Starring at my life jacket, hiking shoes, socks, two coolers, biking gear, random clothes (in case I decided to take a trip at the last minute) and inhaling a big dose of produce smell (because I’m on a veggie and fruit kick) all there for her viewing and smelling pleasure. Nice.
Thank goodness she’s a professional and knows how to handle a “delicate” situation. She barely flinched (which had to take everything in her power). But, in all honesty it looks like I live in there at any given time. She’s a saint for not commenting.
SLOB OR FREE SPIRIT?
The reality for me is that this is who I am in my personal life. I’m a freewheeling, keep the kayak on the roof because you never know when you’ll need to get on the water, type of girl. However, when I’m working, I’m type A. Everything has been clean, clear, organized and my clients (or bosses in the past) will always get 110% of me. Living this dichotomy seems extremely natural to me until I “see it” from another person’s point of view.
Until someone “sees” (or smells) the way I live, I tell myself that I’m a free spirit, cool, go with the flow, prepared for any adventure that will come my way, chick. However, when my lifestyle is reflected back to me, from those that I coach, my view of my world switches from free to spirt to slob in seconds flat.
BACK TO ACCEPTANCE OF MYSELF
I am and have always been different and I’ve learned to accept that. Recently my guy and two of his friends (all at different times) have called me a gypsy. I love that! I am, if nothing else, a gypsy. I’ve chosen to let go of ridged guidelines for my day and week and embrace a more fluid lifestyle. This means there are no underwear in my drawers that have the days of the week (I’d wear them on the wrong days just to rebel anyway). I don’t know what day of the week it is, most often. I don’t feel guilty if I take a bike ride at 10am on a weekday because I work whatever hours that feel best that day.
I came from a semi-rigid, organized, super normal family. My dad worked for a corporation for 35 years and never sat down in the daytime, even when he retired. Good for him! But, my authentic self, as I’ve discovered is a gypsy slob. I’ve created a life that fits who I am. Mondays are just another day. Tuesdays will never be “vacuum day” and I can’t remember the last time I celebrated a Friday, because most every day feels like a Friday to this free spirit. What a gift.