Re-post: Originally posted on A Slap in the Face for the Soul Blog (no longer available)
I am in shock on a daily basis about how many things people do to avoid losing love. You know normal things like, avoiding talking about a certain someone, picking up dry-cleaning even though it's way out of your way, and bathing their boyfriend's cat "Bob". Don't think you're affected by this? Think again.
92% of people that have even one other person in their lives "do things" that they normally would never do just to keep the "love" coming. Ok the stat is total bullshit but the rest of the sentence is legit. This saddens me.
Don't take this the wrong way, we all need help and it feels great to give! However, when we give just so that we don't "upset the apple cart" we create very twisted relationships. Those relationships smell like lies and Bob the cat before his bath. Giving to avoid losing something is a subtle form of manipulation. Seriously.
To gain true unconditional love you must only give when you feel it. When you don't feel it, negotiate. When giving will turn your insides into a raging lunatic but you find yourself saying, "Noooooooooooooooooo....it's totally fine," in a high pitched voice, just stop it. Stop the madness.
Giving to receive love will never ever and I mean EVER give you anything but resentment and a person that wants more from you. To break this cycle of subtle manipulation you must say these words, "I am allowed to be loved even when I go against another's wishes." Now mean them.
It's time that you demanded unconditional love in your life! To gain unconditional love you must endure the pain of losing those that cannot get themselves together enough to give to you. It's not you. It's them.
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